What I think about the entire Anna Nicole Smith fiasco

What a sad case. Yet I can't keep my eyes and ears off the television screen whenever I hear any new developments. When my boyfriend texted me that she had died, I was in shock. Then I wasn't all that surprised. She was a person who had so much going for her, yet she didn't know what to do with herself. She probably spiraled into depression when her son died, but what about that baby girl?

Drugs: Anna made the mistake of allowing her son to drop out of school and take drugs. I know, I know, she probably thought "who am I to tell him not to take them when I do it as well?" That's the problem and she let it get way out of hand. Her son Daniel most probably overdosed and mixed his prescription medication with something else and that's sad. The poor boy had a whacko for a mother, he had no chance in that kind of an environment..

Paternity: There are so many men saying they are Dannielyn's father its crazy. Personally, I think Larry Birkhead is the father and I hope he is. He seems to be the most sane out of all of those nuts. Although money is one of the primary motives here, the baby needs a father, her biological father, and needs to have a normal life. Who knows? Maybe its a good thing that it happened this way because what kind of a mother was Anna? Although I never knew her and I'm sure that she was nice, Anna was already too far gone, especially after her son died.

My hopes: If Larry turns out to be the biological father of Dannielyn then I do hope he takes responsibility and raises his daughter right. If he is not the father then I pray that whoever he is, he takes the title of "dad" seriously.

Remember, Anna Nicole Smith was a regular woman who just happened to get famous--and not because she found a cure for something or did any kind of good. People really need to settle this matter finally. In any case, I am helplessly interested in what happens to this young girl. I'm curious to see what happens...

One New and One Familiar

if thou must love me, let it be for nought                  

by Elizabeth Barrett Browning

If thou must love me, let it be for nought
Except for love's sake only. Do not say
"I love her for her smile her look her way
Of speaking gently, for a trick of thought
That falls in well with mine, and certes brought
A sense of ease on such a day"
For these things in themselves, Beloved, may
Be changed, or change for thee, and love, so wrought,
May be unwrought so. Neither love me for
Thine own dear pity's wiping my cheek dry,
A creature might forget to weep, who bore
Thy comfort long, and lose thy love thereby!
But love me for love's sake, that evermore
Thou may'st love on, through love's eternity.

and

The road not taken
by Robert Frost

Two roads tdiverged in a yellow wood,
And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could
To where it bent in the undergrowth;	5
Then took the other, as just as fair,
And having perhaps the better claim,
Because it was grassy and wanted wear;
Though as for that the passing there
Had worn them really about the same,	10
And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.
Oh, I kept the first for another day!
Yet knowing how way leads on to way,
I doubted if I should ever come back.	15
I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—
I took the one less traveled by,
And that has made all the difference.	20

The magnitude of an otherwise ordinary day

I'm going to post today since I don't know how much time I will have tomorrow.

Feb 6 will be one year since my father's cancer diagnosis. If you are like me and have gone through something traumatic, you will understand how I can never forget these anniversaries. I continue to mourn every day; cry every day; and think about my dad every hour, every half hour. I think about the past, present and future. I try not to think about that terrible weekend and what he had gone through, but how can I not?

This Feb 6 will also be 3 months since my dad died. I tend to get the feeling as though my spirit is in a coma. This is my reality and I have grown up, quickly. I just pray that I may give other people a shot into understanding me. I'm afraid that I have closed off any thought that people know how desperate or lonely I sometimes feel.

I planned a trip to Orlando, Florida this coming June :) We have a time share and we would lose the money if we did not use it this year. I'm looking forward to it :)