Sunday, November 2, 2008
"People with happy childhoods never overdo; they don't strive or exert themselves. They're moderate, pleasant, well-liked, and good citizens. Society needs them. But the tremendous drive and dedication necessary to succeed in any field--not only show business--often seems to be rooted in a disturbed childhood. I wasn't unloved or an unwanted child, but I was moved around a lot, and then death and cruel circumstances brought many painful separations."
I feel that this statement was created after a lot of thought and experience on the part of Lucy. We can go back and forth whether it is true or not. Although I have had a great and excellent childhood, I am still very ambitious. I guess the point where indifference meets ambition can be looked at deeper. Nevertheless, I understand the latter part of her statement and think that individuals in those circumstances can do one of two things: they can either let that overcome them or learn from it and keep moving. That's how I do it sometimes. Just move move move until something else comes along.
"I cured myself of my shyness when it finally occurred to me that people didn't think about me nearly as much as I gave them credit for. The truth was, nobody really gave a damn. Like most teenagers, I was much too self-centered. When I stopped being prisoner to what I worried was others' opinions of me, I became more confident and free. But I still needed to eat."
Ha! That last line got to me. I mean, why she put that in that paragraph, well its fun to think of the reasons. But even that line can refer to me.
Friday, October 31, 2008
A hot set of pumps that can perfectly compliment my cute feet:
A fiction romance novel that can keep my mind occupied for hours:
A positively lovely accessory:
All in an incredible french city overlooking the Mediterranean:
While pursuing my career:
And that special someone to spend it all with:
Monday, October 20, 2008
Wednesday, October 1, 2008
So I'm starting my new job in a public school tomorrow. I'll be working 4 days a week among my two days of internship and two days of classes. Not sure how I'm going to balance everything out yet but I will make it work somehow. Money is tight here and mom and I are saving every penny. Will try to update again soon to post how work is going for me!!!
Thursday, September 11, 2008
It's also near the second anniversary of my dad's death and the second year he has missed 9/11.
Some memories of that fateful day and the days that followed: my father buying the NY Post every day and saving the articles; hating that he would have no work on 9/12 (he wasn't afraid to go right back to work); having 9/12 off from school and visiting the nursing home to get some papers signed after volunteering there; watching the news; reading the names of all the "missing" persons; talking about our feelings among friends.
One need not be a chamber to be haunted;
One need not be a house;
The brain has corridors surpassing
~Emily Dickinson, "Time and Eternity"
Friday, September 5, 2008
Not too long ago, some friends brought me some Canadian candy. When I tried one Nestle Coffee Crisp, I became hooked! This candy is sort of like a Kit Kat bar but its richer, thicker, and tastier. I wish they had these in our stores but unfortunately I hadn't seen one yet. So here it is, my new favorite candy bar! Yummy!!!
Saturday, August 16, 2008
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
My cousin had his reception here in 2005 and since then, this has been my favorite hall. Will I get married here as well? Who knows :)
Maggie and Tomek knew each other for around 5 years and even though she is 23 like me, they do seem very much in love. I have known Maggie since the second grade and consider her to be a good friend even though we have not been as close since college. Nevertheless, I wouldn't miss this for the world and I hope she'll do the same for me when my time comes.
The band and DJ were great and it was an all-time Polish wedding! I danced my heart out!! Afterwards, at midnight, we went on the yacht around the city (just like at the bridal shower). It was certainly a night to remember. I took plenty of pictures and I'm posting some of them here for you to see.
Congratulations Maggie and Tomek! Best wishes to you!!
Friday, May 30, 2008
As I read through the comments posted throughout Beyond Blue and on the discussion threads at Group Beyond Blue, I realize that a lot of readers are mourning the loss of special relationships. This prayer, by Henri Nouwen, had me in tears the other day. Because he articulates this process so beautifully, and calls us to stay with our pain, because, believe it or not, it will deliver us to a better place. Thanks, Henri!While you may feel physically and mentally strong, you still experience a forceful undercurrent of anguish. You sleep well, you work well, but there are few waking moments when you do not feel that throbbing pain in your heart that makes everything seem up in the air. You know that you are progressing, but you can't understand why this anguish keeps pervading everything you think, say, or do. There is still a deep, unresolved pain, but you cannot take it away yourself. It exists far deeper than you can reach.
Be patient and trust.
You have to move gradually deeper into your heart. There is a place far down that is like a turbulent river, and that place frightens you. But do not fear. One day it will be quiet and peaceful.
You have to keep moving, as you are doing. Live a faithful, disciplined life, a life that gives you a sense of inner strength, a life in which you can receive more and more of the love that comes to you. Wherever there is real love for you, take it and be strengthened by it. As your body, heart, and mind come to know that you are loved, your weakest part will be attracted to that love. What has remained separated and unreachable will let itself be drawn into the love you have been able to receive. One day you will discover that your anguish is gone. It will leave you because your weakest self let itself be embraced by your love.
You are not there yet, but you are moving fast.There will be a bit more pain and struggle. You have to dare and live through it. Keep walking straight. Acknowledge your anguish, but do not let it pull you out of yourself. Hold on to your chosen direction, your discipline, your prayer, your work, your guides, and trust that one day love will have conquered enough of you that even the most fearful part will allow love to cast out all fear.
Monday, April 21, 2008
Clockwise from top right to left:me, me and my mom, a game where each table had to select a "bride" and dress her up with tissue paper; then the bride to be picked her favorite one (my table with the tall girl on the left side won!), the bride is in the yellow circle dress
Yesterday was my friend Maggie's bridal shower and it took place on a yacht going around NYC. It was great. I have known Maggie since the second grade although we have sort of fallen apart since the end of HS. Nonetheless, her mom threw her this shower for about 60 or so women. I'm posting some pics....
I have found a school for my practicum in the fall. It was the third school I looked into and it's a middle school. I'm excited about this opportunity and look forward to it! I had met the vice principal and counselor and they seem eager to help me out. It'll be 100 hours but I'm hoping they'll allow me to do my two internships there as well.
School should be over in about 2 weeks and I'll be happy when my first year of Grad school will be over. Life is hectic with only my mom and me but we are managing and pulling through.
Thursday, March 27, 2008
Next week, I'm planning on calling schools for a practicum I have to take next semester. It is just like an internship except it will be for 100 hours. I still have to take two internships that will be 300 hours each! I'm not looking forward to that long semester because I'm planning on being a full time student and hold my part-time position as well. As long as I find schools, I will be happy!
It seems that when I get to this time of the year, things always manage to look up. I'm planning a short trip to the Bahamas in July. My boyfriend is going to reserve the hotel since my mom and I are planning on using the credit card for many things in April and I just don't want to overuse it. I need a vacation!!!
I hope everyone is doing well and had a good Easter :)
Monday, February 4, 2008
This was my first Superbowl that I watched in entirety and hosted as well. I had several people over at the apartment with dominos pizza, beer, pigs in a blanket, chips, and chocolate chip cookies at hand. The view of the city from my terrace made it even more special considering the Empire State was bleeding in blue.
My "knowing little about football" prediction: Giants 22-17. Not bad right?
I couldn't stand the sight of Tom Brady and quite enjoyed seeing him sacked. It was a really good game and the defense did an awesome job. I can't say enough positive things about Eli. When he wiggled out of that position after having some guys pull at his shirt, I knew there would be excitement over this. What a game.
I know that my dad would be gloating at work right now and I miss that.
Monday, January 21, 2008
Last night's game was wonderful; it was exciting, nauseating at times, and caused my heart to palpitate!
My boyfriend and I made a date out of it and watched it in the apartment. Towards the end and when they went into overtime, Jay couldn't watch anymore and decided to go to the kitchen to clean up. As he did so, the Giants retrieved the ball and won their game shortly after. I made Jay stay in the kitchen until they did!
My dad must be totally happy and in glee.
Monday, January 14, 2008
Depression: Knock, knock, we'reeeee back.
Me: No! Go away. Today was a good day and I've been so good, why do you have to come tonight?
Loneliness: Awww. Don't you remember that you have no one but us? We can sit with you, play with your mind, and tuck you in goodnight!
Me: Wellll. You are right. I am alone right now. Why don't you come in? *sigh*
Envy: YAY! Oh don't you just wish you were like some other people. You don't have this and I know you definitely want that. How wonderful having that must be! Right Ma?
Loneliness: Thats right hun. Joanna dear, you need us right now. We are all you have left.
Depression: Baby, remind Joanna of that time in which work didn't go right, school sucked, and nothing was on T.V!
Anger: So and so didn't call. Remember, remember?
Helplessness: Anger, stop that! Don't you know Joanna can't help whats going on in her life right now. Shut up, she is only a human being.
Me: You know what Mr. and Mrs. Depression and Loneliness, you and your children can get the hell out and leave me alone for tonight. I can tuck myself in and don't need you for company. Leave me alone for at least this night.
Depression, Loneliness, Envy, Anger, and Helplessness (in unison): Alrighttt! We will be back when you least expect us!!!!!
Something to make me feel better tonight :)
Saturday, January 12, 2008
This is weird, but interesting! This is a cool thing check it out.
fi yuo cna raed tihs, yuo hvae a sgtrane mnid too
Cna yuo raed tihs? Olny 55 plepoe out of 100 can.
i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid, aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it dseno't mtaetr in waht oerdr the ltteres in a wrod are, the olny iproamtnt tihng is taht the frsit and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it whotuit a pboerlm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Azanmig huh? yaeh and I awlyas tghuhot slpeling was ipmorantt! if you can raed tihs forwrad it
FORWARD ONLY IF YOU CAN READ IT
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Ok here we go!
1. What is your salad dressing of choice?
2. What is your favorite fast food restaurant?
hmm don't unusally go but lately I've been digging white castle
3. What is your favorite sit-down restaurant?
4. On average, what size tip do you leave at a restaurant?
5. What food could you eat every day for two weeks and not get sick of?
chicken and pizza comes a close second
6. What are your pizza toppings of choice?
Pepperoni, green pepper
7. What do you like to put on your toast?
8. What is your wallpaper on your computer?
little coffee mugs that remind me of college
9. How many televisions are in your house?
10. Are you right-handed or left-handed?
11. Have you ever had anything removed from your body?
12. What is the last heavy item you lifted?
13. Have you ever been knocked unconscious?
14. If it were possible, would you want to know the day you were going to die?
i would consider the year but day...that would be freaky
15. If you could change your name, what would you change it to?
i like Joanna but i get Joanne, it is not Joanne
16. What color do you think looks best on you?
17. Have you ever swallowed a non-food item by mistake?
18. Have you ever saved someone's life?
personally, this is a tricky question. i believe i saved my dad's on a number of occasions.
19. Has someone ever saved yours?
20. Would you kiss a member of the same sex for $100?
21. Would you allow one of your little fingers to be cut off for $200,000?
22. Would you never blog again for $50,000?
yes! sorry folks
23. Would you pose naked in a magazine for $250,000?
at 22, hell yes!!
24. Would you drink an entire bottle of hot sauce for $10,000?
i don't think i would survive that
25. Would you, without fear of punishment, take a human life for $1,000,000?
26: What is in your left pocket?
27: Is Napoleon Dynamite actually a good movie?
28: Do you have hardwood or carpet in your house?
house: hardwood. apartment: carpet
29: Do you sit or stand in the shower?
30: Could you live with roommates?
i think so
31: How many pairs of flip flops do you own?
32: What did do you do the last time you had a run-in with the cops?
i never had a run-in with the cops :)
33. What do you want to be when you grow up?
34: Last Friend you talked to?
35: Last person who called you?
36: Last person you hugged?
39: Missing someone?
41: Listening to?
waiting for The View
43: Worrying about?
seeing the dermatologist
44: First place you went this morning?
45: What can you not wait to do?
go on vacation this spring/summer
46: What's the last movie you watched?
I Am Legend
47: Do you smile often?
Yes, I am a sweet person
48: Are you a friendly person?
Yes, sometimes to my disadvantage
Thursday, January 3, 2008
We basically discussed the terms and stages of crisis, what we would do in different areas of crisis', listened to a first year high school counselor, and saw a mini video about bullying and how it led to one student's suicide. Our school provided us with dinner, cookies, drinks and coffee which was excellent! I participated and it was a good day--better then I had anticipated.
I'll let you know how the course ends. Keep warm everyone!