The magnitude of an otherwise ordinary day

I'm going to post today since I don't know how much time I will have tomorrow.

Feb 6 will be one year since my father's cancer diagnosis. If you are like me and have gone through something traumatic, you will understand how I can never forget these anniversaries. I continue to mourn every day; cry every day; and think about my dad every hour, every half hour. I think about the past, present and future. I try not to think about that terrible weekend and what he had gone through, but how can I not?

This Feb 6 will also be 3 months since my dad died. I tend to get the feeling as though my spirit is in a coma. This is my reality and I have grown up, quickly. I just pray that I may give other people a shot into understanding me. I'm afraid that I have closed off any thought that people know how desperate or lonely I sometimes feel.

I planned a trip to Orlando, Florida this coming June :) We have a time share and we would lose the money if we did not use it this year. I'm looking forward to it :)