Thursday, March 2, 2006

I'm laying it down

I think it's funny that I had mentioned Spring Break in my previous entry since Mother Nature decided to give us some snow, ice and slush to start March off! lol It's payback time for January I guess...

So I watched American Idol last night and for some reason I feel like I watched the same people already. There are some good ones though and I like that last guy who sang that rock song. It's a great song. Otherwise, I'm not sure. I tend to get into it when there are like 10 people left and its then that I start voting...Can't wait to see who gets knocked out tonight :)

I have to do my scholarship application soon;;maybe tomorrow?? One of the parts is writing a recommendation for myself as if someone else is writing about me. Who knows? Maybe I'll get some money for senior year, that would work out great considering all the bills that are gonna go for Dad's radiation and chemo. Crossing my fingers but I'm honestly not hyping myself up over anything. If it happens then it happens.

Ever since Feb 6, when this fiasco started happening I've been having crazy moodswings. Overall I feel as if I am being cheated out. Sometimes I feel optimistic about everything but other times I do feel in my heart that this won't work out. The way I see this is that cancer is a death sentence. If chemo/radiation fails, then there is no way someone can survive lung and brain cancer. Like my friend Dana told me one time, whenever something like this strikes you, you feel like its a unique situation no matter how often it strikes other people. I feel consoled though that there are people I can talk to about this, especially at my work. Those two women make my day, every day, easier. Not to mention writing in my journal since I have such great friends here as well!!!!

Now it's getting very cold so I'm going back upstairs and do some more hw. HUGSS

4 comments:

sazzylilsmartazz said...

It's cold in Delaware too! We are going to Lancaster, PA tomorrow. (Pennsylvania Dutch Country) I'm not going to the beach and freeze my butt off! LOL

Joanna, you have to have hope. Your mood swings are natural. I'm sure I'd experience the same if it were happening to my dad. Whenever the ones we love most are sick it really is a unique situation to us even though it's a problem others may have.
My heart and thoughts are with you.
Dianna

hadonfield78 said...

I know that things can seem bleek at times.....
But you have a long wonderful life ahead of you....
Things have a way of working out sometimes...
Stay Warm..

xxroxymamaxx said...

Yes, I felt exactly the same way....that it was only us...but of course, that is not the reality of it.  Such a shame that cancer affects so many.  Good luck on the scholarship app.  Keeping my fingers crossed for you.  GBU, Shelly

pennietoonz said...

It is devastating to a family when someone you love gets cancer. It`s a very emotional roller coaster.
Good luck on the scholarship. I just got my daughter`s FAFSA done for next school year.
I love American Idol and I hope a guy wins. the girls are starting to bore me!
Hugs,
Penny
http://journals.aol.com/pennietoonz/PennysPlace